Challenge #1- Breastfeeding
I had grand plans to be able to breastfeed Claire until she was at least 6 months old. I wanted to do this for her health, for the bonding experience, and for budget sake. Breastfeeding was a struggle. You see Claire enjoys instant gratification and I just about starved her while I was in the hospital. She lost 12% of her body weight while in the hospital. My child who weighed 8 pounds and 1 ounce the day she was born, weighed in at 7 pounds and 3 ounces when we left the hospital four days later. Every time we tried to feed, she screamed bloody murder and became frustrated, which left mom very frustrated. While in the hospital they had me start pumping to try to increase my supply as well as meet with the lactation specialist. I felt like this was helping. However, I was tired all the time with pumping, trying to feed, and get the rest I needed after a c-section. However, I was going to do everything I could so that Claire could have breastmilk. The second week of Claire's life my mom drove us back to the hospital to work with Noula, the lactation specialist. After this visit I had tears of relief because I felt like we had gotten somewhere. At her 2 week visit with the pediatrician she had gained weight back above her birth weight! This was music to my ears. Things were on the up and up, or so it seemed. You see we continued with our patterns of feeding only supplementing with formula when she would not stick to the breast. My pediatrician allows newborn parents to come for weight checks on their scales to help parents know what is going on. I didn't want to be a paranoid parent, but wanted to check her weight at her third week birthday. We went in and she weighed 8lbs. 4oz. She had dropped a net weight of 8 ounces since she was supposed to be gaining an ounce a day. This was very frustrating. The doctor called me to say that she wanted me to take her off of the breast completely. She felt she was working too hard and burning calories instead of just getting what she needed. I started pumping every 3 hours and feeding her what I could in breastmilk and then supplementing with formula. Even with pumping every 3 hours I was only producing about 30mL for a child that was taking in 4 ounces at each feeding. I could not keep up with her and my milk supply did not increase, instead it slowly decreased until a week later I sat in the bathroom at my husband's parents house and pumped for 10 minutes to not even pump a drop! You see this was very frustrating, very emotional, and hard on me. I was the mom who was determined to make it work, but it wouldn't! I had a wonderful support system behind me to tell me it was okay. I learned that both Paul and I have been formula babies. My mom struggled to make enough milk for me, so I guess genetics play a role. I don't feel bad about my choice any more because Claire is now gaining weight at a healthy rate and I tried my hardest to make it work. As in everything in life, as long as I try my very best I can't do anything more. So you see, it didn't work with this baby, but it was a growing experience in humility and giving over control. A lesson I guess I needed to learn! At one month she was finally 8 pounds and 15.5 ounces. This was music to this mom's ears!
Challenge #2- Slab Leak
Two weeks ago we woke up to a very unpleasant surprise. I was enjoying some extra time in bed after a 4:00 feeding. I knew that I didn't have to get up until about 7 and was super excited to get a couple extra hours of much needed sleep. However, Paul had gone into his hobby room to find the floor wet and water on his comic book boxes, as you see in the picture below. We immediately began to move all of his belongings out of his room, get water in buckets, and turn the water off. Paul called the insurance company and the plumbers to see what we could get done. They immediately turned off the hot water heater because it could have burned up and made preparations as to what our options were at this point. I knew that we could not stay in the house with all the things that would float in the air and just the mess that was our house. During this week my mother-in-law was staying with Claire and I during the day, so she was able to help Paul out in moving items and just sitting with Claire. We also decided that it would be best to go stay with them over the weekend while things dried out! So, the rest of the day was spent packing up everything for Schotzie, Claire,and the two of us. This was a challenge to say the least. I wasn't quite ready to pack up for an overnight trip with a three week old, but that is what we did!!
By the way... husband is a champ because due to the c-section I could only move small things at a time. In this mess, he was very patient with me and my raging hormones and emotions!
The floor after all the carpet was taken out and fans and humidifiers had to be put in place to dry up the house!
The small pipe that made a BIG mess.... you see that tiny hole! That is what caused the big mess!!
Paul's hobby room that showed where the leak was coming from and the concrete they had to jackhammer through!!! Fun days.
About 3 o'clock we packed up the cars and headed over to Paul's parents house. I was a wreck! I am not a crier, but I couldn't stop. I was a blubbering mess. We had both worked so hard to make our house just what we wanted it to before Claire's birth. Everything had its place and we were working very hard to keep it that way. I guess you could say our house was my fortress, since this is where I am spending most of my days. Just looking at it, made me fall completely apart. Again, I was not in control of the situation and that frustrated me. After a puppy getting sick in the car and Claire crying most of the way, we finally made it over to Jim and Gail's house. I began to unpack our things into our room for the weekend when Paul got to his parent's house. He found me unable to control the crying, with a crying baby, and an unshowered wife who was miserable for the moment. He was great! He told me he was taking the baby, he wanted me to shower, and get comfortable. He even took the late night feedings with her so I could get some extra sleep!
We are still working to get everything fixed and our house is still torn apart. However, home is where your family is and it is a place where we live and make memories. I also came to grips that Claire would not remember this experience, so I needed to let go, because nothing is ever going to be perfect.... not even bringing a new life into a home. As long as she has what she needs, that is all I can provide, then let God take the rest!
Challenge #3- Slow Healing Process
I never dreamed that a c-section would take so much out of me! However, it did! In the hospital I expected to have some frustrations with learning how to deal with a new baby, but I never thought I would struggle so much with my own health. I won't go into all the details, but my digestive system was a wreck! I had problems most women don't have due to the gas build up from opening me up. I was bloated, hurting, and had a hard time handling the baby and myself simultaneously. They checked me for the CDIF infection, luckily that test came back negative! I was ready to workout and get back to normal routines, but that was not possible. I felt a tug in my abdomen that I did not expect and I could not go for very long at one point in time. My family continued to remind me that I needed to relax, take it easy, and let them take care of me. My pain tolerance is quite high, so I didn't need to take a lot of pain meds. However, I did let myself sometimes go too long between taking pain meds and was reminded that I did just have major surgery. Still six weeks out from surgery I still feel a tug and am taking at least 2 pain pills a day. I was just given the clearance to work out this past Tuesday and it feels so good to work out! Workouts are not as strong as they were, but 20 minutes at a time for a few weeks is better than what I have been able to do. The next time around, I will be better prepared. However, hoping it really is a different experience!!
I never dreamed that a c-section would take so much out of me! However, it did! In the hospital I expected to have some frustrations with learning how to deal with a new baby, but I never thought I would struggle so much with my own health. I won't go into all the details, but my digestive system was a wreck! I had problems most women don't have due to the gas build up from opening me up. I was bloated, hurting, and had a hard time handling the baby and myself simultaneously. They checked me for the CDIF infection, luckily that test came back negative! I was ready to workout and get back to normal routines, but that was not possible. I felt a tug in my abdomen that I did not expect and I could not go for very long at one point in time. My family continued to remind me that I needed to relax, take it easy, and let them take care of me. My pain tolerance is quite high, so I didn't need to take a lot of pain meds. However, I did let myself sometimes go too long between taking pain meds and was reminded that I did just have major surgery. Still six weeks out from surgery I still feel a tug and am taking at least 2 pain pills a day. I was just given the clearance to work out this past Tuesday and it feels so good to work out! Workouts are not as strong as they were, but 20 minutes at a time for a few weeks is better than what I have been able to do. The next time around, I will be better prepared. However, hoping it really is a different experience!!
Challenge #4- Letting Others Help
With the slow healing process, came the necessity to allow others to help me in many ways. I have a hard time letting other people help me because I feel like it is my responsibility and I need to get it done! I had to let go of control once again! I am grateful that Paul took off a whole week to help us get into a routine, take care of his family, and knowing exactly what I needed done. My mom was able to take 2 weeks, my sister came in for a week, and Gail stayed with us for a week! These were each huge blessings because they helped me get out of the house every once in a while, carried the heavy carseat, dealt with strollers, and told me when to go sit down. They also provided meals. I am also very grateful for our Sunday School class who is continuing to provide meals, so I can focus on taking care of little miss.I am thankful to be getting back to being more independent, but also very grateful that family and friends have pitched in and helped so much!!
So you see, this is just a mother's reflection of a time of stress and newness in life. However, I have to stop and thank God for the challenges that have helped me grow in ways that I needed. I have learned even more the virtue of humility, patience, and truly turning over ALL of your situations to God!
With the slow healing process, came the necessity to allow others to help me in many ways. I have a hard time letting other people help me because I feel like it is my responsibility and I need to get it done! I had to let go of control once again! I am grateful that Paul took off a whole week to help us get into a routine, take care of his family, and knowing exactly what I needed done. My mom was able to take 2 weeks, my sister came in for a week, and Gail stayed with us for a week! These were each huge blessings because they helped me get out of the house every once in a while, carried the heavy carseat, dealt with strollers, and told me when to go sit down. They also provided meals. I am also very grateful for our Sunday School class who is continuing to provide meals, so I can focus on taking care of little miss.I am thankful to be getting back to being more independent, but also very grateful that family and friends have pitched in and helped so much!!
So you see, this is just a mother's reflection of a time of stress and newness in life. However, I have to stop and thank God for the challenges that have helped me grow in ways that I needed. I have learned even more the virtue of humility, patience, and truly turning over ALL of your situations to God!
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